Saturday, 22 October 2016

Night time wandering

I wrote this a few nights ago by the river...

Tonight I feel so many things. I feel alone.. and also I feel held by the universe. Free. Full. And also melancholic. How can I feel so much at once?

I know I am not alone. Out here, spirit walks with me. Mother Earth all around me.. hearing her gentle flow as I stand beside the river. The moon. She is near too.. and what a spectacular sight she has been. She fills me more deeply than I can possibly explain. 

I have seen or spoken to so many dear close friends these past few days. From here.. in Toronto. I have felt love and heartache. I have touched sorrow, regret, inspiration, and deep moments of connection. I have given love and allowed myself to receive it. The fullness of life... allowing and honouring all that comes. 

It's a bit of a foreign place I'm back in, and also familiar. Learning to be alone again. Loving myself again. Free. Open. I'm relearning so much. 

In this moment I have everything. Ahead of me, infinite possibilities. Anything is possible. 

Sunday, 11 September 2016

Late night wandering

Late night Wolseley wandering and reflecting and intention setting at 11:11 on the 11th...

I long to walk these streets with nothing but love in my heart. Peace. Understanding and compassion. Courage through the grief. Forgiveness. Patience and gentleness. Trust in the universe. Acceptance. And of course... wide open love.

I want to burst through this cocoon and soar. I want to feel faith in humanity restored. 

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Victoria Beach adventure

Oh life.. you and your amazing adventures. This past weekend, I was so fortunate to join Kari, and my good friends Vanessa and Chris (and Vanessa's mom Debbie) at their cottage in Victoria Beach for a night. It was the most perfect adventure in every way. And Vanessa and Chris are the cutest ever.. they are getting married out there in just a few months.

Lovely friends, laughter, amazing food and wine, a bike ride though the forest, exploring Victoria Beach, my first ever sailing adventure (it didn't even matter I was a little queasy), bumper shining (swimming behind the boat), dog walk and a perfect sunset on the beach.

Thank you universe for all the gifts you continue to bring.

These two.. seriously the cutest

Life on a boat

The views on our perfect day

Forest bike ride
Swimming and sailing
Our faces on the bike ride
Sunset on the beach (with wine of course)

The beautiful cottage
Captain Julie (for about 3 minutes)

Raising the mainsail.

Getting ready

Perfect end to the day

Monday, 18 July 2016

Winnipeg Folk Festival

Life has been beautifully full of adventures lately. A couple weekends ago was the Winnipeg Folk Festival and I was a volunteer videographer. How fun to get to run around and capture the magical moments of the festival. My highlight was all the opportunities to go backstage and side-stage and film some really amazing performers. We did a backstage session with Basia Bulat.. she was lovely - I'm such a fan. I can't wait for some of the video to be edited and released. So honoured to get to do what I love to do.

Basia Bulat filming a backstage session at the Winnipeg Folk Festival, 2016

Photo by Quincy Houdayer

Monday, 4 July 2016

First Short Film

I have been wanting to get into film for a long time.. I have considered courses for probably 10 years. Fear always held me back.
Finally, this spring I registered for the Basic Filmmaking Class at Winnipeg Film Group. It has been such an amazing experience learning all aspects of film - producing, directing, writing, camera, sound, lighting and editing. But equally, I am grateful for the connections with classmates and the local film community. I feel pretty amazed that through this process I got to make my own short film.
We only had 3 hours to film and I had big visions that would have required much more than that time to complete. But, I also learned how to adapt and adjust as required to get things done. Here is my first film that screened at cinemateque last week.

This is only the beginning.. I can hardly wait to continue this journey. Thank you for all the love and support from so so many.
For this particular short, special thanks to the Winnipeg Film Group classmates, mentor and staff, Mark BorowskiBen WilliamsNicola Baldwin,Rowan GrayChristopher X XuChelsea NeufeldAllison StevensBahram GhaemeiMing Hon, Crystal, and Damien. To the City of Winnipeg, Integro and Peasant Cookery. To my actors, Reba T and Jesse Laing. To Logan Jax Oxenham for writing the original music. And to Kari Rieger for loaning me her cool bike!
Don't let fear hold you back.. reach for your dreams always!!
I must confess, I am a lot more excited about my second film that I made this past weekend with an amazing team of people as part of the 48 Hour Film Contest. That one will debut at Gimli Film Festival on July 23rd. It has all been so much fun.

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Facing fears

I've registered a team to be part of a 48-hour Film Contest this weekend. It is put on through Winnipeg Film Group and all short films will be screened at the Gimli Film Festival. 

So many feeling arise through this process. Mostly there is alternating excitement and fear. Excitement as I go through all the steps with this amazing team of people around me... writing the script, filling out applications for permits and insurance and actors, finding out cast, looking for props, preparing my house, making shooting schedules and meeting agendas and organizing details. I am loving it all. I even bought a Directors slate. 

Only in the moments when I begin to compare myself with other filmmakers do I feel fear. Or when I look at my life from the outside in.. what am I doing making a film and competing against 25 other teams, many of them seasoned filmmakers. Do I know how to be a director?

And also... I feel a deep sense of "who am I not to?" I know my life has been leading me here to this point. This feels like the beginning of what I am supposed to be doing. I have been dreaming of this path for so many years and I let fear hold me back. Fear can rob us of so many beautiful experiences. 

No more. I want to live my life fully.. to give what I have to the universe. To be willing to try.. to learn.. to grow. I know I have always had so many creative expressions inside me.. it is time to finally be brave and set myself free. 

Sunday, 8 May 2016

This moment

You know those moments when you just know you are in the right place at the right time. When you can feel meaning in everything. Trusting you are exactly where you are meant to be. 

Today is one of those days. 

Sitting at a craft show selling my journals and stones. It's a quiet one, as I expected. But the people I have crossed paths with.. the meaningful connections.. the impact. I can feel it all. 

Sitting with such trust in my heart. Overflowing love. Grateful for all the gifts of my life. Thank you universe. 

Friday, 15 April 2016

Adventures in fIlmmaking

What an amazing journey I have been on these past weeks and months. I've been delving fully into the world of filmmaking. Learning about directing, writing, lighting, audio, camera movement, producing, and editing. I have learned how to turn a story into a script, then into a list of shots and a storyboard. I have played with sliders, dollies, gimbals, a jib crane, and got to wear a steadicam. I have made new friends and had inspiring teachers.  It's been such a wonderful adventure so far. I am loving it all. 

Tomorrow I am scheduled to direct my own short film, with my classmates as my crew. I have my actors, permit to occupy the sidewalk in the exchange, permission from my first choice of restaurant and my props. They are calling for a heavy downpour, so we might get rescheduled.. or we might go ahead. I'm so excited!!

It's only a couple minute short film. We have three hours to film it all. Mine is about the connection between people and the way we can impact each other's lives. It is about destiny... and my stones. We've been told by many of our instructors that our first film is supposed to suck, so that takes the pressure off. I am just happy to be doing it. 

I have the total support of my love and my friends. It feels good. The funny thing is that I have been wanting to take this course for years. I let fear stop me. I was so intimidated by it. But here I am.. facing my fears. Doing it anyway. Finally!!

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Late Night Musings

It was a long day.. an inspiring day. Work, a coffee with a friend who's a documentary filmmaker, and then a Directing class at Winnipeg Film Group. The first day of class in the basic filmmaking course. 

Questions. Who are you? What do you stand for? 

Lots of reflecting tonight. I am in the midst of change... feeling simultaneous endings and beginnings. It feels like the universe is asking me to emerge from my cocoon. To take flight. 

I am afraid, but I know I must go. I am being challenged to grow. I'm using every bit of courage and trust. Following my truth down the path of fear and uncertainty. Because that is where my heart is being pulled. 

Tuesday, 8 March 2016


Airports and office training and explorations and a hotel room with a giant king bed. I love exploring life and seeing new places. I have truly enjoyed the past couple days of work and felt proud to be in Ottawa training 7 staff in Adobe InDesign... equally proud of how quickly they learned. I loved their enthusiasm, openess, and how they welcomed me. 

Going away takes me out if my routine and shakes my world a little bit. I love that. I realize this is the first time I've travelled alone in a while. Lots of reflecting and a beautiful opportunity to connect more deeply with myself. 

As much as I love being away, I also love returning back home. To my friends, my steady, my cats, my cozy bed and the life I have created that I love so much. 

Grateful for so many things. Thank you universe. 

Friday, 4 March 2016

Art Challenge

Some friends started a 31 day art challenge for the month of March and I have been joining them. I love weaving creativity into my life as much as I can. This challenge has no rules, and if you feel like joining, you can share via social media with #31daysartyourself. I've been playing with some layering of photos on a photoshop app that I have on my phone, mixing various media, created a brochure for work and today am uploading a video that I shot of my friend Serena last fall.

Day 1: Tree Art

Day 2: A49 Sports & Entertainment Brochure

Day 3: Dear Universe
Day 4: Northern Pike by Serena Postel

Thursday, 3 March 2016


I am embracing the silence within me. The emptiness. The aloneness.
Remembering how to simply be with all that is.

I am reconnecting to myself. To my separateness. The space that will always exist between me and others. No matter how much we try to connect, we must also accept that we are alone. 

Today I am feeling sadness and melancholy. And also deep gratitude. So much is flowing through me. Feeling longings of the heart, memories of lives gone by, and the scars of old wounds. Feeling peace too, and infinite possibility. Allowing all that comes. Noticing. Watching. Accepting. 

Monday, 29 February 2016

What do you say when there are no words?

awoke in the middle of the night. 
The long awaited news...

 It took the wind from my sails. 
Almost a year of hoping, praying, trying, and waiting. 
Preparing myself... unable to fully prepare myself for this. 
Not ready for the response once it came.

The end of a chapter. 

And the beginning of another. 

I don't understand. 
I am heartbroken. 
And still... some part of me trusts. 

Even this. That I don't understand... 
Even this has reason. 

I grieve the loss of my desires and dreams for how this was supposed to go. And surrender to the truth that I will never know how this moment was supposed to go. 

I am sad. 
My heart aches for all that I cannot control and may never understand. 
And still, I trust. 

I trust the need to be on this path in this moment. Each of us. This is where we must be. 

May we find our highest purpose here and now. 
May we live in honour of that purpose. May we be exactly who and where we are meant to be. 
For the highest good of all. 

I trust. 

Sunday, 28 February 2016

Journals for sale

Yesterday, I posted an online gallery of some journals for sale. I have been spending a lot more time and energy on this little side project. Enjoying shopping for books (with lots of help from Kari, who has now become a vintage book buying addict). Loving the meditative process of cutting books and paper, binding, stamping. 

If you are interested in a new journal made from an old book, you can check them out here.

Here are a few from the album.

Friday, 26 February 2016


Everything is up to fate again. 
I close my eyes. 
Pray for the best thing to happen. 
For the highest good of all. 

Holding my breath in anticipation. 
Whatever happens.... may we trust there is reason. 

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Infinite possibilities

This is how I'm feeling this moment. 

Every part of my life. 
Fully in the present. 
Looking towards the future. 

Infinite possibilities. 

Trusting what is meant to be will be. 
For the highest good of all. 

Monday, 22 February 2016

Dreaming Tree Paper Company

I have been spending a considerable amount of time lately on my side projects. One of those is a little company I started called Dreaming Tree Paper Company, where I upcycle old hardcover books into journals. I have been making and selling them at craft shows for years, but am finally trying to take things to the next level. I revamped my website this week, dropped off journals to a store in the Forks who has just started carrying them. I have also just applied for a few big craft shows and am meeting with a bigger store to talk about possibilities. I am dreaming big, because.. why not?

As part of all that, I did a little photo shoot the other day. I will be launching an online gallery for sales to friends and community soon. Feel free to email me if you are interested in knowing more.